CHAMPAIGN, IL - CHAMPAIGN--
Every relationship in our lives matters-- but getting them all to a healthy point can be a challenge.
Five Easy Steps to Build a Better Relationship
1. Three Breaths – Before you start a conversation or even greet your partner, first take three deep breaths. Your body will feel more calm and, therefore, your mind will feel more calm. You will also automatically use a lower and calmer tone of voice in the conversation.
2. Three Second Hugs – Start your greeting or conversation with a hug. Physical contact, such as hugging, builds attachment and improves mood. Research shows that a 20 second hug releases oxytocin, the “love hormone”. If that sounds like too much, then start with three seconds.
3. Three Gratitudes – Every day think of three reasons you are grateful for your partner. This can be especially helpful if you are frustrated, angry, or planning to have a difficult conversation. For best results, tell your partner verbally or in writing those reasons you are grateful for them. You will increase your positive feelings and the conversation will likely have a better outcome.
4. Three Second Pauses – Before responding to your partner in a conversation, take a three second pause. This will stop you from interrupting and ensure your partner has finished sharing their thoughts. We are more likely to interrupt when we are thinking about what we want to say instead of actually listening. Pause and listen … then respond.
5. Three Hows – Before diving into your day, your frustrations, your needs, ask your partner three how questions.